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Why Won’t My Cat Sit On My Lap Anymore? (+ Solution)

If you have noticed that your cat is acting differently. In particular, not sitting on your lap anymore, you may be keen to learn why this is happening and what you can do to correct this.

Why won’t my cat sit on my lap anymore?

Your cat may stop sitting on your lap if she is feeling stressed or anxious. This can be caused by subtle changes in your home. For example, a new pet, a new baby, or a new friend that it is unsure of. Cats’ hate changes.

Now that you know why your cat might have stopped sitting on your lap, keep reading to learn how you can make her start sitting on you again if age affects their behavior, and so much more.

When do cats start sitting on your lap?

Cat sitting on lap.

Cat sitting on a lap.

If your cat is not sitting on your lap anymore it is a good idea to understand when this is likely to start in the average cat’s lifecycle. This will vary from cat to cat, but this section will give you a good guide.

Most cats will start sitting on your lap as kittens. To be more specific, from 3-7 weeks you should start seeing them doing this. At this stage, they start to make a bond with you and build trust. This is usually when they start to wean onto solid food.

This stage is critical for your bonding. This will build the foundation of your trust to come. However, this does not mean that there is no chance of this happening if it’s later than 7 weeks, it’s just a guide, and some cats take longer.

Now that you know roughly when this should start, keep reading to learn how you can get your cat to start sitting on your lap.

How do I get my cat to sit on my lap again?

Some cats will just sit on you instinctively, while others may need to be enticed back onto you. This section will focus on those stubborn cats that need a bit of a prod to get them onto your lap.

There are three key stages:

  1. Entice your cat.
  2. Reward your cat.
  3. provide positive feedback

Entice your cat.

To get your cat onto your lap you will need some treats or catnip to make it worth her while. This will get her to make that initial jump up to you. From this point, you need to make her stay.

Reward your cat.

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Now that your cat is on your lap you need to reward her with some cat treats (Click here for some good ones, on Amazon #Ad). This will make her feel happy she jumped onto your lap and also, keen to do it again.

Provide positive feedback

To add more rewards provide positive feedback. This is simply by using your voice to tell her she is being good. Like, “Good girl”, “Good boy”, “lovely kitty”, etc. Are you with me?

Now that you understand how to get her on your lap, keep reading to learn exactly what you have achieved and what, having her on your lap, really means.

Remove anything causing anxiety

You might not know it, but despite their reputation for being mysterious, cats are actually sticklers for schedule and an ordered household. If your cat is keeping their distance, then the first thing that you want to consider is ‘what has changed recently?’.

Any changes in the household, be they big or small, can have an impact on your kitty’s comfort levels, and cause them to steer clear of your lap. New furniture, for instance, can make your cat feel stressed because it is new and doesn’t smell like them yet.

New people or animals in the household can also have an impact, as can recent changes in your work schedule or a sudden renewed interest in socializing that’s taking you out of the house. Think about what has changed and then you can strategize about how to make your cat more comfortable with this.

Keep its litter box clean & tidy

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When the litter box is untidy, some cats will simply ‘go’ inside of the house, while others will wait until the absolute last minute before making such a desperate and dramatic display of displeasure. Try adding a second litter box to the household as an alternative option for your kitty or put a fresh one under the sink for easy switching.

This will help to ensure that the litter is never nasty and your cat will relax a bit as a result, if this is what has been bothering them of late.

Reduce the noise in your home

Playing the stereo too loud of late or watching horror movies with a lot of jumps scares? While those speakers with enhanced bass are pretty awesome, they can stress your cat if the music is loud most of the time. Consider turning it down for a space to see if your kitty’s body language relaxes. You might just be surprised!

What does it mean when a cat sits on your lap?

Getting your cat lap is all well and good, but it’s important to understand what this means through the eyes of your kitty.

Firstly, feel special, because this simple action is a massive show of love. It is a big signal that she trusts and likes you. And, in some cases, it’s an indication that you are her favorite.

While she is on your lap it is a cue for you to stroke and tickles her. This behavior stems back to her early years, as a kitten, with her mum grooming her. You have effectively become her mother figure, are you with me?

Now that you understand the deep meaning of this simple action, keep reading to see if your cat will get more affectionate with age or not.

How can I make my cat feel safe on my lap?

Sometimes your cat might just feel like your lap isn’t safe enough. Maybe you’ve got a bony lap or you’ve been moving a lot lately when your kitty is trying to get comfortable… what can you do? Read on and we’ll give you a few strategies that might just make your kitty more comfortable!

Choose a seat without sharp edges or corners

Seats with corners or sharp edges can make your cat a little worried or make them feel unduly confined. Try changing where you sit, with a good experimental spot being a nice, wide-open couch, with you in the center.

If your kitty comes to your lap fairly quickly, then you’ll want to find a new favorite spot that both of you may enjoy.

Wrap your arms around them

Once your kitty gets in your lap, rest your arms in such a way as to cradle and hold them securely in place. Don’t grip hard – that will make your cat feel confined – but rather relax in such a pose that you are casually holding your cat in place.

This will make them feel warmer and a bit more secure and they might decide to stay!

Gently stroke & rub behind

Sometimes your kitty wants a little loving and while just sitting in your lap is fine, a demonstration of affection might get you better results. Gently stroke and rub at your from behind them, watching their body language and noting purrs so that you know when you are doing it right.

Most cats won’t like too much attention this way, but if you learn how to give them ‘just enough’ then you’ll practically need a crowbar to get them out of your lap later. Try it and you can see for yourself, that it’s all about knowing your cat and what they expect from you.

Do cats get more affectionate with age?

After you have done all the hard work and got your cat onto your lap and showed you love. You may be keen to understand if she will get more and more affectionate with age.

Some cats will get more affectionate with age. As they age they can become needier. However, some may become more introverted if circumstances change such as other pets in the house or if they develop health issues. If this happens, this could make them become guarded.

Now that you understand how age can affect your cat’s affection, keep reading to see what it means when she lays on you.

What does it mean when a cat lays on you?

If you are sleeping and your cat randomly lays on you, you may be puzzled and wondering if it means the same as her sitting on you. Therefore, in this section, I will explain what this means.

When a cat lays on you they are looking for comfort and security while they sleep. When a cat sleeps they are vulnerable, therefore, the fact she lays on you means she does not see you as a threat. And, she cares for you and trusts you.

Now that you understand why your cat is laying with you, keep reading to see if a male cat is more affectionate, or is this just hearsay?

Are male cats more affectionate?

A ginger cat being stroked on its head.

A ginger cat is being stroked on its head.

You may have heard some rumors that male cats are more affectionate because females are only concerned about their kittens and reserve all their love for them, but is this true?

Male cats are not more affectionate than female cats. Their behavior is based on their personality. This means, that a male or female can be affectionate. Or, on the opposite end of the scale, they have the same chances of being aggressive.

Now that you know the truth, male cats are not more affectionate. Keep reading to learn if cats have a favorite person or not.

Do cats have a favorite person?

If you live in a busy household and have noticed your cat gravitating to one person more than another, you may be keen to understand if they have favorites or not.

Cats do have favorites. This is generally the person they spend most o their time with. There is often a good chance that the person who feeds your cat will become their favorite. This is an instinctive behavior from the earlier years of them being kittens.

You have learned that cats do have favorites. But, does this mean they can work out when you are sad and offer affection? Keep reading to see.

Do cats know when you’re sad?

Whenever you are sad you may notice that your cat is there for you. But, is this just a coincidence, or do they have some way to detect this?

Cats do not have a way of detecting your sadness. The chances are when you are sad, you are needier and offer them more attention. This will result in your cat returning your gesture with comfort and love, which may make you think they have detected your sadness.

Related Questions:

In this section, I will answer some questions relating to your cat’s behavior. If you have some other questions feel free to contact me.

How do you tell if a kitten is going to be a lap cat?

To tell if your cat is going to be a good lap cat (click here if it keeps jumping off), look out for kittens that are playful and keen to snuggle up next to you at bedtime. Their personality will generally be calm and not aggressive. This is a good indication.

How do I know when my cat is happy?

Cats give you body language to indicate that they are ar happy. This could be simple things such as vocal cues, such as purring. Moving their ears in a certain way is another sign. And, being playful and happy around you, in general, is a good sign it is happy.

Lindsey Browlingdon