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Why Does My Cat Prefer My Husband? (Greed or Love?)

If you have noticed that your cat prefers your husband then you may be confused and wondering why this has happened…

Why does my cat prefer my husband?

Your cat may prefer your husband because he either spends more time with it, feeds it regularly, or may have had it first. In fact, there are several reasons, but these are some of the top reasons why this may happen. Even If it chooses your husband first, it doesn’t mean it hates you.

So, now you know. But, how do cats choose their “best” person, why is my cat more cuddly with my husband? Do female cats tend to like male humans more? Keep reading for these answers, and much more…

3 top reasons why your cat may prefer your husband:

Why does my cat prefer my husband?

A husband and wife holding hands.

Earlier I explained some reasons why your cat may prefer your husband. Therefore, in this section, I will explain each one in more detail:

01. Spends more time

You may find that your cat prefers your husband simply because he spends more time with the cat. For example, if he works from home he has more time just to be near your cat.

Therefore, your cat may gravitate to him more. If we continue this example and assume you work all day. The number of hours you spend with your cat in the week is minimal compared to your husband.

02. Had the cat before you

If your husband had the cat before you then it’s obvious it would choose him first. Why? Because he already established a bond with the cat that is hard to compete with.

It’s like a child that grew up with its dad and all of a sudden, years later, the dreaded stepmom comes into the picture, are you with me?

03. Feeds the cat

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One of the biggest factors in these situations is the person who feeds your cat. Meaning, if your cat is fed by your husband there is a large chance that it is going to choose him first, are you with me?

Don’t take this personally. Cats are fickle and food is a big factor in their decision. Why? Because they focus on survival more than emotions.

How do cats choose their “best” person?

A cat chooses their best person based on the one they spend the most time with and also the one that makes them feel safe. Therefore it doesn’t have to be the person that claims to own the cat or who purchased the cat in the first place.

This may be frustrating if you wish to be closer to your cat and it seems to gravitate to someone else. But, the only way to change that is to do more with your cat and reclaim its love.

Why does my cat cuddle with my husband and not me?

If your cat seems to cuddle with your husband more it could be because it either feels more comfortable with him or, you may not cuddle it as well.

For example, if you try and pick up your cat awkwardly and it makes your cat feel uncomfortable. Next time, it could choose to cuddle with your husband, are you with me?

How can I correct this? Well, you will have to improve on your pick-up and cuddling technique. Or, take some notes from your husband.

Why does my cat sit on my husband’s lap but not mine?

Sometimes your cat will choose to sit on the lap of the person they feel the safest with rather than who they love the most. So, it may not mean it dislikes you.

Cats can be complex. For example, after all this analysis, it could simply be that it just fancied sitting there that week. But, back to my point, if your husband radiates safety and security, your cat may well choose his lap over yours.


Another theory could be the positioning of your husband. For example, he may choose that comfortable reclining chair (click here to learn how to keep your cat from getting stuck in this) that your cat loves, it may simply be that what is the key decision-maker.

Do female cats prefer male humans?

Female cats are not known to prefer male humans. However, there have been studies that show that cats, in general, tend to gravitate to female humans more.

This does not mean every cat will like only women, because there are many cases of cats preferring men, husbands, etc. However, there has been evidence from this study that suggests a preference towards women.

Why does my cat sleep between me and my husband?

A cat waiting, eyes open on a bed.

A cat waiting, eyes open on a bed.

Your cat may prefer to sleep between you and your husband for comfort and safety. They know that when they are close to you like this they will have the warmth and safety of both of you.

When these cats are in the wild they often sleep together similarly so this is their way of emulating this behavior.

Why does my cat favor my partner when I feed it?

If you feed your cat it usually creates a bond. But, if your cat is still favoring your partner it could be for several reasons such as:

  • More gentle with it
  • Offers it cuddles
  • Lets the cat out (and in)

More gentle with it

Sometimes one person in your home may just naturally be more gentle with the cat. If that is the case, it could be your partner. When this happens your cat may prefer to spend time with them, even if you are the feeder.

Offers it cuddles

As well as being gentle, your partner may be a real cuddler. What I mean by this is they may always want t to cuddle your cat and hold them. And, assuming your cat likes to be cuddled (click here if it does not), then it may appreciate this.

If you, on the other hand, are constantly batting it away when it goes in for cuddles, then this could be the reason why it favors your partner.

Lets the cat out (and in)

If you have an outdoor cat then it will appreciate being let out. So much so, it could influence who it favors. This is assuming that it does not have a cat flap to get out.

How do I get my cat to like me as much as she likes my partner?

You can’t force your cat to like you. But, you can improve your chances of it liking you. This can be done by simple things such as:

  • Rewarding your cat (tasty bribe)
  • Quality Time

Rewarding your cat (tasty bribe)

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Offering your cats tasty treats will help them associate you with happiness. However, it’s important to keep them as treats. Do not overdo it.

If you give them too much they will not appreciate it as much, basically taking it for granted. And, this is also bad for their diet if the treats are excessive.

Quality Time

Quality time is really the best option. Nothing really trumps this. Basically, you need to spend some time with your cat and make them get more comfortable with you.

Why does my rescued cat only want to sit on my husband’s lap?

A rescue cat may sit on your husband’s lap more because it feels more comfortable there or he may choose a better location in your home that your cat appreciates.

If you have a rescued cat you may assume it will be obsessed with you. But, once it is in a comfortable home it is still a cat, like any other. Meaning, it will gravitate to whoever offers the most food or love.

Lindsey Browlingdon